Where Ive been

I’m here. I’m alive. Lately though it’s just been hard to find the want to do anything. I think as Lincoln’s due date gets closer, that might be how it feels. I feel so close to having to let him go because soon he would have been here.

Yesterday I went and bought a new car. This was always the plan because our other car didn’t fit three car seats and we also needed two cars. One just wasn’t doing it for us anymore. The whole time, all I thought about was how if I was still pregnant I would be to big to enjoy car shopping.

Some days are easier than others. Many days my heart feels heavy from the weight of missing the child I won’t even get to meet. I know I’ve said it in other posts but I just always wonder who he would have been. What he would have loved. Would he have been left handed or right handed?

I’ll never know anything beyond that I loved him, he was 10 inches and 11 ounces. He was my little giraffe. I miss him so much that sometimes it’s hard to function.

But I’m here. I’m getting through most days. Sometimes though it’s hard for me to find the want to write or do much of anything.

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